We're All Mad Here.

past the point of no return

2009-12-07T10:36:00.000-08:00

This class was the missing puzzle piece in my education. Generally speaking, I feel more aware. Aware of various techniques, styles, ways of thinking, everything concerning experimental films. I wouldn't say that after this class that I'll only make experimental films, but I'm looking forward to taking what I've learned and creating a fusion, a mish-mash of styles that is something unique and new, and me.

I also feel more open-minded, more accepting, to the high-cannon or any experimental films. I love that I'm armed with the question, "What was the filmmaker exploring?" rather than, "What does it mean?" Because who the fuck cares what it means, why does that matter? The presence of an idea or theme is more important than being able to relay a complete meaning. My ability to process films on a larger scale rather than understanding a simple translucent meaning is the lesson I will always cherish.

It's also scary this knowledge, because I don't think I can revert to my old ideals of filmmaking now. Before I thought after I graduated I'd just work on crews, finding my niche there, making feature films, blah blah blah. Now I'm aware that there are so many other possibilities. I don't need to follow that path, I don't want to anymore. I'm a little nervous now though because the possibilities are insanely endless. Where to go next, what to do next, where will I get my money to fund my next project, what proverbial track will my life take?

I can make films for and by myself and this is OK. I just need to find a side job, swell.

Festivals, Schmestivals

2009-12-07T09:22:00.000-08:00

I just started seriously looking at festivals to submit my self-portrait in, and it is intense work. Honestly I don't have an emotional fear of rejection, it more a monetary fear of rejection. I feel that submitting without doing the proper research into festivals is like flushing 30 bucks down the toilet. Such a waste. So now I'm paranoid that I'm going to waste a bunch of money. If my film is accepted to two out of five festivals, which apparently is a good ratio, then I've basically just flushed $90 (assuming the festivals have about a $30 fee). I'm broke and 90 bucks means a lot of things to me.

I finally got around to making an email address specifically for my films and a withoutabox account. Those two actions were the catalyst to my long festival research fiasco that was my Sunday. I'm glad that our class already did a lot of research for me, that has been big help.

I suppose I'll just have to bite the bullet on this one, and spend the money. My festival savings jar only has single bills in it, hopefully they will have 20 dollar babies sometime soon.

Naomi Uman Is The Bees Knees

2009-11-14T20:38:00.000-08:00

Just saw The Ukrainian Time Machine. Easily my favorite film so far and the best q&a of the festival. And I got to shake her hand. And she's awesome. And I want to move to Ukraine and be part of her residency program. And her film was so fucking cool. And she's fucking cool.

Evan was there, he witnessed it, he knows.

Everyone else: cry.... just, cry.

Because you missed it.

Time-turner anyone?

2009-11-09T20:39:00.000-08:00

Let me just give you a laundry list of my initial viewing list for Cucalorus:

Billy Was a Deaf Kid

Bomber

Dogtooth

Easier With Practice

Follow the Master

God Went Surfing With The Devil

Harmony and Me

Mississippi Damned

Playground

The Reckoning

Shadow Billionaire

St. Nick

Storm

Terribly Happy

That Evening Sun

The Ukrainian Time Machine

I'm 90% positive this list will increase by tomorrow. Unfortunately I cannot be in two places at once, so I'll have to adjust according to my deepest screening desires.

Shorts I want to see:

Balance

The Funk

Joel Stein's Completely Unfabricated Adventures

Logner

Notes

Postalolio

Space Travel According to John

Bonchester Shorts

Stinking Bishop Shorts

Raclette Shorts

Duddleswell Shorts

Let's just add more to my scheduling conflicts.

Bad Dreams

2009-10-28T11:06:00.000-07:00

My group was pretty ahead of the curve with getting our filming out of the way, we've been done a week. Which is great, because I know we're all busy. I think we all worked really well together, everyone was a team player, and I think it's partially due to the community we've built in our class. We all have an idea of each other's strengths and exploit those, as they should be.

Because everything has basically gone digital today, film has become this whole new beast for me. Probably because it's still really unfamiliar. It's strange though, I don't own a digital still camera, so you wouldn't think moving film would intimidate me that much. Because I knew it costs so much for purchasing, processing, and transferring, I really didn't want to fuck up. Being the DP was kind of scary for me and I really hope everything turns out well. I was really paranoid a few days after the shoot and I kept on dreaming that none of the film came out.

I had this idea at the last minute to check out one of the Pentax cameras, to maybe use a supplemental footage, mix different genres. Because we were co-directors I thought it'd be cool to have Sheledy shoot from that camera, and me from the Super 8.

Things I'm really excited to see:

1) the super-8 film

2) the stills

3) I used the slow-motion feature on the Bauer a couple times (shoots at 40 fps)

4) the final product

Special thanks to Will for helping us out and owning a fucking cool furry hat.

Installation

2009-10-28T10:55:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty excited to be on Chalice's crew for the installation project. I really like how her idea incorporated different mediums of performance art and cultures. It's going to be so cool when it all comes together. It's like a celebration of differences through our similarities as people.

I went to the performance of the Japanese taiko drummers earlier this semester, and it was so cool. I think since I have that visual and sound in my mind already, I can see so much potential for this installation. Especially when film is twisted in.

I thought it would be fun to direct an installation, and I did have some ideas floating around in my head, but at the end of the day I really didn't have the time. Installations aren't projects that you can squeeze by, or half-ass, and I didn't want to commit myself to a project I didn't have time for. So I'm really happy to be a follower this time around.

The Movies

2009-10-28T10:06:00.000-07:00

This article could not have been assigned for my reading at a more opportune time. For a while now I've been frustrated with the Art House cinemas I'm familiar with in the Raleigh/Cary/Chapel Hill arena. Over the past 5 years or so there has definitely been a shift in movies exhibited at independent movie theaters, from unknown films to popular indie films. I can remember in high school driving 30 minutes to Cary just to see a particular film that wasn't playing anywhere else in the triangle area. I used to love going to blind screenings, basically paying to see a film that I knew absolutely nothing about. On school holidays I g0 home to Raleigh and it's a treat to be able to go see different films that probably won't come to Wilmington. Last Christmas I was shocked because the Rialto, Colony, and Galaxy, my main independent theaters were playing movies I'd heard of, nothing was new to me. I'm not saying this is a bad thing, but there has been a mainstream shift of exhibiting films that are more palatable to an average film audience. I used to pay the $7 admission willingly, since I was getting a unique experience, now I simply won't. I'd just as well pay $1.50 (at the $1.50 theatre in Raleigh) to see a movie that has been out for a few months.

Alvin's article was published in 2007, which was two years after I graduated high school which makes sense. She contributes this mainstreaming to financial circumstances of the theaters, advancing and affordable home-movie technology, and the art-house subculture disintegrating.

While I don't understand all the costs incurred through running a theatre, I think that as a public we've become too demanding as audience members. I'm perfectly content not having stadium seating, reclining chairs, popcorn, slushies, and other nonsense that only distracts while watching a movie. I don't think mega-theatre owners know this. They get away with murder in the cost of ticket prices nowadays. Even worse, they are taking away student discounts on Friday and Saturday nights. I refuse to pay $9.50 for a ticket, that's ridiculous. All I need is a big screen and a movie projected on it. I think we need to go back to our theater roots, when it was neat to see a movie because it was on a larger-than-life screen. I can eat popcorn, get a movie for $1 at RedBox, and have a fine time in my living room. The only thing a theatre has that I don't, and won't anytime soon have, is a huge-ass screen, but that's not worth $8-9.50 to me.

I totally disagree that the art-house subculture is disintegrating, I think we're just annoyed. I hadn't heard of micro-cinemas until reading this article, and I think it's what I've been looking for. An opportunity to attend a blind screening again. To pay a reasonable ticket price for a film I'll really get something out of. I haven't been to a mega or art theatre in months, a boycott of some sort. I'll have to keep my eyes open for micro-cinemas. In fact, I really should attend more Cinematique screenings at Thalian Hall and support a local theatre.

DP- The 23 Flavorful Shots by M.

2009-10-13T20:24:00.000-07:00

This blog will contain a little taste of my proverbial 201 vocabulary.

Lies.

Without getting into too much detail about our music video idea, the mise en scene is going to be fairly static. This means I WANT CAMERA MOVEMENT, DAMMIT.

Alas, I am going to mix it up a bit, I want wide coverage with static shots, close ups, extreme close ups (yes, I checked out the Bauer), long shots, all different angles, high and low, and eye level, I WANT IT ALL.

On to the movement bits: there's this cool little stream where we're going to film. I'm going to use it's curves, that stream will be crying by the end of the shoot, it will feel so used. 360 shots. And shots that ignore and rediscover our musician in the trees.

As far as compositionally speaking, I will destroy the rule of thirds and mold it into the rule of obliques.

I'm getting a little carried away. If you can't tell, I'm pretty excited about being the DP for our music video assignment.

Lost small birds in fields

2009-10-06T21:51:00.000-07:00

I had a really hard time coming up with an idea for our self-portrait assignment. It was intimidating watching such good films last Wednesday, I felt/still feel the pressure.

I knew right away that I'd like to shoot on Super 8. So I've ordered the film off B&H, but won't get it until around the 17th of October, because the only companies who sell Super 8 film online are owned by Jewish people. Apparently they like to take off, stop everything for, a week and a half during at the start of October. Which means I don't get my film until the third week of October, swell. That does not leave a big turn around time for getting the film processed and returned to me. No worries though, I have a back up plan to shoot using miniDV and just altering the image after to mimic the Super 8 feel (not ideal, but works).

I wanted the concept for my self portrait to be something that was relevant at all times in my life. So I wrote a list:

a) I like open grassy fields

b) I envy birds

c) Being small

d) Trying to figure out where I fit in

I'm combining all of these elements into my self-portrait.

Fields are so liberating to me because they are so open and serene. At one of my childhood homes we had a huge front yard, which was grassy and open. That house was in Rwanda and my Mom used to warn me about this huge bird that was so big that it would carry me (selected because I of my small stature) away if it was hungry. So if I saw it, I was supposed to hurry inside.

I was so off the small end of the growth charts when I was young, doctors tried to convince my parents to put me on growth hormones. My mom thought that I was aware how much smaller I was than my peers, I wasn't really. Unasked, she took it upon herself to make sure I knew that small people had a place in this world too. So she'd buy me stupid shit, like a pillow that said, "Good things come in small packages." Or remind me that my little sister almost weighed as much as me, though 6 years my junior. She'd push sports like gymnastics, fencing, and horse jockeying on me because, "Small people succeed more because of their size." I can still fit into clothes I was wearing in 4th grade. What is amusing about all of this, is that my size has never bothered me, but I've always been aware of it because of my mother.

So that's the general gist of the storyline. I'm going to illustrate these ideas in a field, somewhere, with people, some chairs, and a super 8 camera. I'm going to play with angles and composition to exaggerate sizes. I'll have some shots where I'm alone in the field and others with people.

That's all I have so far, I'm still coming up with ideas.

Act III: The Plan for Seeing With My Ears

2009-09-29T11:57:00.000-07:00

Soundscape title: Under the Tent

Question: How do you manipulate still images to create an awesome animation about being inside a tent?

Answer: Composite layers, composite layers, composite layers, and on, and on, and on.

The beginning of our soundscape is kinda freaky, so our images will reflect this sentiment. There are mini-movements within the soundscape, so the image complexity and creation will rise and ebb with these changes in the sound as well.

I envision our project to almost assume the perspective of someone on a camping trip, who's gotten lost, is scared shitless, then finds the tent, the safe-place, and relaxes.

On a side note: I'm sitting in the library, by a window facing the parking lot. There's a lady using the pay phone outside... I haven't seen someone use a pay phone in at least 7 years. Do you still have to pay to use a pay phone??? Weird. This is a good day.

Act II: Painting With Sound

2009-09-29T11:48:00.000-07:00

After work-shopping our Soundscapes, I really feel that I under-thought this assignment. Not that I didn't put the time into creating ours, but I wish had taken a more rhythmic, musical route, instead of narrative. Listening to the soundscapes that were more musical was more exciting.

Bryan and I chose a more narrative approach because of our title, "Leaving the Confession Booth." We decided to divide the sounds up into different sins, like gluttony and lust. It all makes sense and I still think it was a good idea. Looking back, I wish we had taken each sin and approached it musically. That way our soundscape would have been rhythmic soundscapes within a larger narrative soundscape. That would have been really awesome.

This might be a lame statement for a senior year film student to say, but I am continually surprised at how much thought really goes into creating a film.

this picture defines me

2009-09-15T23:02:00.001-07:00

to inspire the truth is to be truthful

2009-09-15T23:00:00.001-07:00

The Light in the Mirror

2009-09-15T22:53:00.000-07:00

The best bathrooms are those with natural light, say from a huge window 8x5 foot facing a large mirror. My Uncle's bathroom in Maryland has just that. I noticed it after I got out of the shower on Saturday morning. The steam from the water had blurred the glass, but there were still some clear bits. The natural light that was coming through the window wasn't harsh direct light, but softer diffused light, as if through clouds. I loved the way it evenly light everything in the bathroom. Not only does my Uncle have a beautiful house, but he has simple, beautiful things in the house. I just thought the bathroom was so pretty that morning.

After the steam cleared the bathroom was still glowing, persay. It was the perfect light to put on makeup and get dressed in. I just couldn't get over how evenly everything was light, probably because the mirror reflected the soft light. Light is good.

this is true

2009-09-15T22:50:00.000-07:00

A light that shines through

2009-09-15T22:37:00.000-07:00

I had to drive up to Maryland this past weekend. On the drive back I was riding in the right side back seat, where the sun was pelting down on me. It was impossible to read because the sun made the pages of my book so bright that even sunglasses couldn't help me see through the blinding light. I was getting rather annoyed, not only was I hot, but I was forced to be unproductive and hot. Resigned, I took out my ipod and wrapped a thin striped scarf around my head like a shawl, and relaxed.

Ignoring the sniggers from my little sister at my strange shield, I began to look at the world inside the scarf. Said scarf is thin enough where you can still see through it, so naturally the sun seeped through as well. It was interesting to see how the effect of see-through-scarf plus direct sunlight changed the world into a glowing place with a blue hue (because the scarf is mainly blue). Inside the scarf my skin had a pleasant healthy glow. The sun illuminated the tiny fibers of the scarf and if I focused hard enough I could see each individual woven square of the fabric. It was all rather pretty.

Act I: Recording Sound

2009-09-09T06:52:00.000-07:00

Long gone are the days where I sit on the computer searching for sound effects! Is it strange that I never actually realized that I should just go and make my own and stop taking from others?

In my sound design class on Friday we learned how to use the DARs from the equipment room. I wish we could have used those for this project. I think at some point I'm just going to go crazy and record tons of sounds. Then one day I'll have a huge stockpile of random sound effects that I will never have to use poor mp3 tracks that were downloaded off a website. Maybe I'll share, that would be nice of me.

I learned from assignment #1A that adjusting levels is more difficult than I expected. I learned that you really can hear a fridge in the background from the other room. I learned that I should use hand signals instead of my voice to cue your sound maker. I learned that once I know what a sound is, I am completely unable to think of it as anything else. For example, since I know what my group's sounds were, I'm not able to think of the fridge door shaking as the interior of a moving train, it's just the fridge door shaking. Along those same lines:

Dear Group Who's-Tape-Log-Claims-That-You-Recorded-The-Sound-Of-Someone-Eating-Chips,

The sound of someone eating chips? No, that is the sound of death.

My ears told me so.

Thanks,

Belazs

2009-09-02T07:48:00.000-07:00

I've written two research papers on sound design in film before. I love sound. I also think that it is incredibly important in films, and usually overlooked as such.

I liked how Belazs drew comparisons to theatre and silent film, to describe how unique the element of sound is in sonic cinema. How silences are incredibly powerful when linked up with an image and heard between sound environments. And silences on the stage can only really last for 5 seconds, but silences in film can last for minutes, without losing their power. Silent films can't create this power of silence, because they are totally silent, and the audience can't feel the shift between sound and silence. I liked the idea how film can recreate different sonic landscapes accurately, because of the use of microphones. And how in film objects can have sonic personalities when inter-cut with different shot ratios.

Belazs had interesting, and even romantic, ideas about sound. It made me think about sound in new ways. I like that.

Subway smells overwhelmingly like bread

2009-09-01T19:03:00.000-07:00

Location: Subway restaurant, S. College Rd.

This was a challenge, it smelled too good, and that was very distracting.

The people standing in line shuffled their feet a lot, making scratching noises on the floor. I could hear the crackling sound of subs being wrapped up in the paper, then the soft swish of napkins being slid into the plastic bags, then the louder swish and thunk of the sub being stuffed into the plastic bags. The soda machine rattled to life every now and then. The soda fountain knobs being clicked then the sloshing soda pouring out. The thud thud, rumble rumble, pink pink of ice falling into a paper cup. The sheathing of a sword was the sound of the bread trays being pulled out of the warmers/ovens. There was the clunking of doors/machines/who-knows being opened and shut all over the place.

People eat so loud. Gross.

Crunch crunch, gulping, slurping, muted voices through a mouth full of food, the intake a breath before the ripping sound of a huge bite. The scraping of a napkin across a face sounds like a whoosh.

"Do you want spinach on your sub?"

"No."

Those two lines times 3518299

I could hear the cars driving by on College Rd., the cars passing in the parking lot outside.

Beach

2009-09-01T18:53:00.000-07:00

Location: Lying on a towel at Wrightsville Beach

Listening on the beach revealed some sonic gemstones. There are the omnipresent sounds of the ocean, the wind, and the seagulls. But listening closely to the waves, you can hear what direction they are coming from, crashing from the left or the right, growing in dynamics as they get closer. I've aptly named this directional sonic dynamics, it's catchy. Lying on my belly, with my ear to the ground, I could hear my toes crawling into the sand as a muffled-sand-paper-against-wood sound. When my friend moved around on her towel, I could hear it through the ground as well, as a thud, grinding noise. The sound of her footsteps approaching our towels, also travelled through the sand, they were short sounds, no reverberation at all.

Voices were carried through the rushing wind, little girls' happy shrieks travelled through the air. A voice caught mid-squeal, getting lost in an overpowering wave. The sand picked up by the wind sounded like a salt shaker being shook over tin foil or something, soft pingy rustly noises.

libraries are fucking loud.

2009-09-01T18:28:00.000-07:00

Location: Library, Downtown Wilmington

These are the dominant sounds I heard: flip flops, people readjusting themselves in seats to comfortable sitting positions, whispering, zippers.

People in the library are walking just as much with their shoes as they are with their pants. Meaning, their pants go, "swish swash", every time they step. I could even hear the sound of some shoes compressing, like air being released from a cushion. The walking was also interesting to listen for sound proximity, walking/footsteps getting louder as the walker gets closer. The library has carpeted flooring, so most of the footsteps were muted, and padded sounding. People move in sync with each other, they feel as if another person decides to move and make themselves more comfortable, it's their chance to snatch something from their backpack. So these sounds usually came in waves: papers turning and shuffling, coughing, sniffing, zipping, chairs creaking, swishing of back pack fabric, thuds of books on desks.

There was the constant hum of the air conditioner, a faint bell somewhere (probably the elevator), people talking openly downstairs, people whispering upstairs. Sometimes I could catch the sound of a person writing, the scratch scratch of pen (maybe pencil) on paper. Some people even breath audibly.

I never realized that libraries are crawling... infested... with very soft, but acutely loud noises made by humans.

McDonald's Introduction to Avant-Garde Film

2009-08-26T04:32:00.000-07:00

McDonald seems to have little faith in audiences and traditional cinema around the world. The general statement that a "traditional" theatre audience would watch an avant-garde film and only state, "That was too long," is very presumptuous on McDonalds part.

Not to mention, the poor Lumieres, who were merely trying to show audiences new exciting things, and also advertising their new technology at the same time. I'm almost positive they weren't thinking how their single continuous shot format created, "a sustained examination and appreciation of subjects for their wholeness". Rather, the Lumieres probably didn't have the technology to create anything other than one continuous shot.

McDonald's introduction to avant-garde was verging on over-analyzation of history and a complete disregard for any merits conventional cinema had to offer.

Richter and Truffaut- BFFLs

2009-08-25T20:55:00.000-07:00

After the second page of Richter's article I could not stop thinking about Francois Truffaut's article A Certain Tendency In French Cinema. I don't know why I drew this comparison, because Truffaut mainly deals with the idea of auteur theory. There were similarities though, mainly with the idea of film as its own unique medium. Richter and Truffaut both found fault with the idea of transferring novels and plays, or other entertainment, to film. Maybe it's not so curious that I made a connection seeing as Truffaut's article was published in 1954 and Richter's was published in 1955, at the dawn of traditional film rejection.

I liked Richters concept that experimental film was "a new fulfillment on a new level" for modern art. The brief history given where experimental films came from is helpful, especially for future viewings.

M's Manifesto

2009-08-25T19:46:00.000-07:00

Happiness is what I seek from life. Films make me happy and that is why I want to be a filmmaker. I can't necessarily pin-point one genre that I like more than others. I tend to seek out animated films because anything is acceptable, there are no limits. This is what I think draws me to experimental films as well.

Other things that make me happy:

1) Pesto

2) Music

3) Photography

4) Traveling

5) A freshly made bed

6) Listening to books on tape

What do I want? I want to make music videos and I want to be an animator. I want to eat lots of Edy's loaded mint-chocolate-chip-brownie ice cream.

Being a senior is a scary thing. I don't want to leave school and be a "real" person. I have no idea what practical purpose my film degree will serve me after I graduate in May. I want to make other people happy with my films. This is my long term goal, even if I only touch one person with my art, I will have succeeded. Film to me, is my means to create that moment of understanding and connection with another human being. The brief moments before the credits roll, in a dark theatre, after viewing a film that I just got are mind blowing. That is a very special thing. That's what I want to create for another person. To achieve that will be my greatest accomplishment.