past the point of no return

This class was the missing puzzle piece in my education. Generally speaking, I feel more aware. Aware of various techniques, styles, ways of thinking, everything concerning experimental films. I wouldn't say that after this class that I'll only make experimental films, but I'm looking forward to taking what I've learned and creating a fusion, a mish-mash of styles that is something unique and new, and me.

I also feel more open-minded, more accepting, to the high-cannon or any experimental films. I love that I'm armed with the question, "What was the filmmaker exploring?" rather than, "What does it mean?" Because who the fuck cares what it means, why does that matter? The presence of an idea or theme is more important than being able to relay a complete meaning. My ability to process films on a larger scale rather than understanding a simple translucent meaning is the lesson I will always cherish.

It's also scary this knowledge, because I don't think I can revert to my old ideals of filmmaking now. Before I thought after I graduated I'd just work on crews, finding my niche there, making feature films, blah blah blah. Now I'm aware that there are so many other possibilities. I don't need to follow that path, I don't want to anymore. I'm a little nervous now though because the possibilities are insanely endless. Where to go next, what to do next, where will I get my money to fund my next project, what proverbial track will my life take?

I can make films for and by myself and this is OK. I just need to find a side job, swell.

Festivals, Schmestivals

I just started seriously looking at festivals to submit my self-portrait in, and it is intense work. Honestly I don't have an emotional fear of rejection, it more a monetary fear of rejection. I feel that submitting without doing the proper research into festivals is like flushing 30 bucks down the toilet. Such a waste. So now I'm paranoid that I'm going to waste a bunch of money. If my film is accepted to two out of five festivals, which apparently is a good ratio, then I've basically just flushed $90 (assuming the festivals have about a $30 fee). I'm broke and 90 bucks means a lot of things to me.

I finally got around to making an email address specifically for my films and a withoutabox account. Those two actions were the catalyst to my long festival research fiasco that was my Sunday. I'm glad that our class already did a lot of research for me, that has been big help.

I suppose I'll just have to bite the bullet on this one, and spend the money. My festival savings jar only has single bills in it, hopefully they will have 20 dollar babies sometime soon.

Naomi Uman Is The Bees Knees

Just saw The Ukrainian Time Machine. Easily my favorite film so far and the best q&a of the festival. And I got to shake her hand. And she's awesome. And I want to move to Ukraine and be part of her residency program. And her film was so fucking cool. And she's fucking cool.

Evan was there, he witnessed it, he knows.

Everyone else: cry.... just, cry.

Because you missed it.

Time-turner anyone?

Let me just give you a laundry list of my initial viewing list for Cucalorus:

Billy Was a Deaf Kid

Bomber

Dogtooth

Easier With Practice

Follow the Master

God Went Surfing With The Devil

Harmony and Me

Mississippi Damned

Playground

The Reckoning

Shadow Billionaire

St. Nick

Storm

Terribly Happy

That Evening Sun

The Ukrainian Time Machine

I'm 90% positive this list will increase by tomorrow. Unfortunately I cannot be in two places at once, so I'll have to adjust according to my deepest screening desires.

Shorts I want to see:

Balance

The Funk

Joel Stein's Completely Unfabricated Adventures

Logner

Notes

Postalolio

Space Travel According to John

Bonchester Shorts

Stinking Bishop Shorts

Raclette Shorts

Duddleswell Shorts

Let's just add more to my scheduling conflicts.

Bad Dreams

My group was pretty ahead of the curve with getting our filming out of the way, we've been done a week. Which is great, because I know we're all busy. I think we all worked really well together, everyone was a team player, and I think it's partially due to the community we've built in our class. We all have an idea of each other's strengths and exploit those, as they should be.

Because everything has basically gone digital today, film has become this whole new beast for me. Probably because it's still really unfamiliar. It's strange though, I don't own a digital still camera, so you wouldn't think moving film would intimidate me that much. Because I knew it costs so much for purchasing, processing, and transferring, I really didn't want to fuck up. Being the DP was kind of scary for me and I really hope everything turns out well. I was really paranoid a few days after the shoot and I kept on dreaming that none of the film came out.

I had this idea at the last minute to check out one of the Pentax cameras, to maybe use a supplemental footage, mix different genres. Because we were co-directors I thought it'd be cool to have Sheledy shoot from that camera, and me from the Super 8.

Things I'm really excited to see:

1) the super-8 film

2) the stills

3) I used the slow-motion feature on the Bauer a couple times (shoots at 40 fps)

4) the final product

Special thanks to Will for helping us out and owning a fucking cool furry hat.

Installation

I'm pretty excited to be on Chalice's crew for the installation project. I really like how her idea incorporated different mediums of performance art and cultures. It's going to be so cool when it all comes together. It's like a celebration of differences through our similarities as people.

I went to the performance of the Japanese taiko drummers earlier this semester, and it was so cool. I think since I have that visual and sound in my mind already, I can see so much potential for this installation. Especially when film is twisted in.

I thought it would be fun to direct an installation, and I did have some ideas floating around in my head, but at the end of the day I really didn't have the time. Installations aren't projects that you can squeeze by, or half-ass, and I didn't want to commit myself to a project I didn't have time for. So I'm really happy to be a follower this time around.

The Movies

This article could not have been assigned for my reading at a more opportune time. For a while now I've been frustrated with the Art House cinemas I'm familiar with in the Raleigh/Cary/Chapel Hill arena. Over the past 5 years or so there has definitely been a shift in movies exhibited at independent movie theaters, from unknown films to popular indie films. I can remember in high school driving 30 minutes to Cary just to see a particular film that wasn't playing anywhere else in the triangle area. I used to love going to blind screenings, basically paying to see a film that I knew absolutely nothing about. On school holidays I g0 home to Raleigh and it's a treat to be able to go see different films that probably won't come to Wilmington. Last Christmas I was shocked because the Rialto, Colony, and Galaxy, my main independent theaters were playing movies I'd heard of, nothing was new to me. I'm not saying this is a bad thing, but there has been a mainstream shift of exhibiting films that are more palatable to an average film audience. I used to pay the $7 admission willingly, since I was getting a unique experience, now I simply won't. I'd just as well pay $1.50 (at the $1.50 theatre in Raleigh) to see a movie that has been out for a few months.

Alvin's article was published in 2007, which was two years after I graduated high school which makes sense. She contributes this mainstreaming to financial circumstances of the theaters, advancing and affordable home-movie technology, and the art-house subculture disintegrating.

While I don't understand all the costs incurred through running a theatre, I think that as a public we've become too demanding as audience members. I'm perfectly content not having stadium seating, reclining chairs, popcorn, slushies, and other nonsense that only distracts while watching a movie. I don't think mega-theatre owners know this. They get away with murder in the cost of ticket prices nowadays. Even worse, they are taking away student discounts on Friday and Saturday nights. I refuse to pay $9.50 for a ticket, that's ridiculous. All I need is a big screen and a movie projected on it. I think we need to go back to our theater roots, when it was neat to see a movie because it was on a larger-than-life screen. I can eat popcorn, get a movie for $1 at RedBox, and have a fine time in my living room. The only thing a theatre has that I don't, and won't anytime soon have, is a huge-ass screen, but that's not worth $8-9.50 to me.

I totally disagree that the art-house subculture is disintegrating, I think we're just annoyed. I hadn't heard of micro-cinemas until reading this article, and I think it's what I've been looking for. An opportunity to attend a blind screening again. To pay a reasonable ticket price for a film I'll really get something out of. I haven't been to a mega or art theatre in months, a boycott of some sort. I'll have to keep my eyes open for micro-cinemas. In fact, I really should attend more Cinematique screenings at Thalian Hall and support a local theatre.