Lost small birds in fields

I had a really hard time coming up with an idea for our self-portrait assignment. It was intimidating watching such good films last Wednesday, I felt/still feel the pressure.

I knew right away that I'd like to shoot on Super 8. So I've ordered the film off B&H, but won't get it until around the 17th of October, because the only companies who sell Super 8 film online are owned by Jewish people. Apparently they like to take off, stop everything for, a week and a half during at the start of October. Which means I don't get my film until the third week of October, swell. That does not leave a big turn around time for getting the film processed and returned to me. No worries though, I have a back up plan to shoot using miniDV and just altering the image after to mimic the Super 8 feel (not ideal, but works).

I wanted the concept for my self portrait to be something that was relevant at all times in my life. So I wrote a list:

a) I like open grassy fields

b) I envy birds

c) Being small

d) Trying to figure out where I fit in

I'm combining all of these elements into my self-portrait.

Fields are so liberating to me because they are so open and serene. At one of my childhood homes we had a huge front yard, which was grassy and open. That house was in Rwanda and my Mom used to warn me about this huge bird that was so big that it would carry me (selected because I of my small stature) away if it was hungry. So if I saw it, I was supposed to hurry inside.

I was so off the small end of the growth charts when I was young, doctors tried to convince my parents to put me on growth hormones. My mom thought that I was aware how much smaller I was than my peers, I wasn't really. Unasked, she took it upon herself to make sure I knew that small people had a place in this world too. So she'd buy me stupid shit, like a pillow that said, "Good things come in small packages." Or remind me that my little sister almost weighed as much as me, though 6 years my junior. She'd push sports like gymnastics, fencing, and horse jockeying on me because, "Small people succeed more because of their size." I can still fit into clothes I was wearing in 4th grade. What is amusing about all of this, is that my size has never bothered me, but I've always been aware of it because of my mother.

So that's the general gist of the storyline. I'm going to illustrate these ideas in a field, somewhere, with people, some chairs, and a super 8 camera. I'm going to play with angles and composition to exaggerate sizes. I'll have some shots where I'm alone in the field and others with people.

That's all I have so far, I'm still coming up with ideas.